DAY 124: Ataba Supermarket

So far in my life I’ve spent ten weeks or so in Kazakhstan. I never noticed until my second trip to the country, the chain of supermarket style shops dotted around the town. These shops are called Ataba and seem to range in size. I’ve never been in one on account of never really needing to buy groceries. So, on this current trip I’ve decided to try and reduce my dependence on the hotels and restaurants by buying a few bits and bobs from the local shops. Today was the first time I tried Ataba to fulfil this task.

You can see in the first photo the outside of the shop. Most look pretty much the same, either bigger or smaller, and having a selection of large posters adorning the outside wall. This Ataba has a special poster which I’ve only seen a couple of times when driving past but it has always caught my eye and perplexed me. The second picture is a close up of the poster in question and this trip confirmed my thoughts but also rose the inevitable question.

What the fuck is Natalie Portman doing on the front of a Kazakhstan supermarket?

This whole situation bombards my mind with questions. Is Natalie Portman the face of Kazakhstan shopping? Since when did she model for supermarkets in the former soviet union? How did they book her? Was this before or after Star Wars? Is she actually Kazakh? Did she once work here? Does she even know that she is being used in such a marketing campaign? How does she get her teeth so white?

I had a thought that maybe the text underneath her said something about a wide range of Hollywood movies on offer, but no, turns out “сервис на высоком уровне” in Russian roughly means “Service of the highest standard”. I’d fucking expect so too if I was being given my change by an oscar winner.

I must stress I’m not complaining, I like looking at Natalie Portman, like most men. In fact when my parents do their “have you found a nice Jewish girl?” joke to me the first girl I think of is Natalie (if your reading this, Natalie, you don’t mind me calling you ‘Natalie’, do you?) and would love to see the looks on their faces if I introduced them to her at that moment. “How’s this for a Jewish girl, Mum and Dad!” I’d shout, and then she’d probably get annoyed and leave the room embarrassed. No I’m not complaining, I’m just confused.

The shop itself is a mini market, like a Spar shop, and it had everything I needed and more. I found some fruit juice, so expect a new experience soon to be trying one of these foreign beverages. They had a lot of crazy kazakh stuff there which I might have to try one day. But most amazing of all is I found Nutella! The hazelnutty, chocolaty goodness that is Nutella is sold in Kazakhstan. I was so happy I almost cried with joy. Then I saw the girl serving me at the counter wasn’t Natalie Portman and my heart sunk again. I paid, left, walked past the poster. I looked up with a sigh, thinking of what could have been. I then walked home and proceeded to eat half the jar of Nutella.